Who are you? No, I mean really. Not who you wish you were. Not who you try to convince others you are. But who are you when no one is looking? Who are you when fatigue, fear or anger slip in? Who are you when you don’t get your way or when you feel as though you have been taken advantage of? Who is the you that everyone else sees in spite of your efforts to conceal and camouflage?
Although the ancient Greeks held as a maxim, “Know Thyself” it seems that humankind does everything possible to keep that from happening. Instead of spending our time trying figure out what makes us tick, and then making necessary adjustments so that we might function in a healthier way, we busy ourselves doing everything within our power to deceive ourselves so that we never have to come face to face with the truth about ourselves.
I am constantly amazed at how painfully obvious someones dysfunction is to everyone around them and yet they continue in their dysfunction as if they are fooling everyone. But worse than that is when I stop to consider how often I have done the same thing! I tried so desperately to act as if I was completely whole and healthy and the whole time my brokenness was obvious to anyone with the slightest amount of discernment.
David’s petition, in Psalm 51:6, reveals God’s desire for you and I. “You desire truth in the inward parts,” David prayed. In other words, God desires authenticity on our part. His desire is for us to take an honest look at ourselves; our motives, our hangups, our anger, our competitive drive, our distrust, our fear, whatever defines us, and, with the help of the Holy Spirit, ask, ” Is this who God desires me to be?” And then allow him to begin a process of transformation and forgiveness in our life that will produce the wholeness he desires us to walk in.